All things about turning 29 and some of my thoughts on my self-growth and little life lessons thus far.
29 huh…Now what?
Do you remember your family ever asking you how you felt on the day of your birthday? “So, how does it feel to be 9 years old?” You would sit there with a blank stare or little giggle, saying that you felt taller or simply nothing at all. This was the first year in my 29 years of existence on this planet, that I actually felt different. Truthfully, up until that morning, I never really felt like an “adult”. Sure, my age and life are clear signs that I am indeed a woman of legal age who can vote, own a credit card, play the lottery, pay bills, etc. Strangely, none of those things made me feel like an adult. Paying bills did make me realize I’m getting older though. Of course, you only start paying bills when you’ve got your own house, and to do that, you have to be an adult. That makes you feel older, especially when you’re rushing to the post office to try and pay your bills before you’re too late. However, that’s calmed down recently with the bill payment kiosk that has been installed in my local post office. That makes it so much easier to pay the bills, and you don’t have to spend ages queuing either. Paying bills does definitely make you feel older, but I still don’t feel like a proper adult yet. I mean it should do really. But it just doesn’t. I actually find that I enjoy paying for some bills like my shopping and phone, because they’re nice payments to make. They are exciting. Some of my friends said they knew they were “officially” adults when they had just moved into their new house and they were looking at these Cirro Energy plans to find the best rates for their electricity. Granted, you can call electricity bills exciting because, without them, I wouldn’t have access to my lights or television, and we all need them. Strangely, this wasn’t enough for me to feel like an adult. When motherhood came around, I still never felt like an adult. I felt like a child raising a child, pretending to know what the heck I was doing and hoping for the best.
So, why did the morning of my 29th birthday, did I feel so different?
Answer: My 30’s are near.
Growing up, I was fixated on that number. To me, that age symbolized a major milestone in my life. Turning 30 meant that I would be thriving in my career, married with a beautiful little family of 4, owned a home, and had a great work/life balance. Well, contrary to popular belief of 7-year-old Kris, that’s not exactly the case. Sometime during my mid-twenties, I realized that my life wasn’t exactly going down the path that my young-self had imagined and I needed to grasp reality and be okay with it. Even though those goals are very much still in the works, instead of being fixated on this timeline of life achievements, I would shift my focus on personal growth. Learning that just because I hadn’t achieved those milestones, didn’t mean I was any less of an “adult”.
Find your tribe and love them hard
A HUGE goal of mine was to build strong, long-lasting friendships, and not to shut the door when something is said that I don’t like nor agree with. It’s always been a bad habit of mine cut the ties immediately, and as much as people call it, “strength” or “being selective”, I know that it’s my hard shell coming up as a defense mechanism to avoid feeling vulnerable and hurt. Friendships in adulthood aren’t the easiest to make and as you get older, you learn more about who you are and the type of people you need around you. Creating personal relationships with an individual is my strong suit but in a group, not so much…Learning that every person in our group brings something different to the table and those things benefit everyone. We need good friends and as much as they support you, we need to give the same love back.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Truly a lesson I’m still struggling with but trying my hardest to improve on. Everything is mine, I want to control every single aspect of my life- it’s my way or the highway. Call this only-child-syndrome or simply a Virgo through and through. I can always take ownership of this not-so-fabulous personality trait, but admitting this to the online world is a little different. I think that trust and vulnerability plays a huge part in this and its starting to become a theme in every life lesson. Not everyone is going to have your best interest at heart, but believe me when I say that when you find the right peeps, they truly do! Together, you can create amazing things and you’ll be so proud at the end of it all.
Love your body
Cliche, yes but so much truth right here. You get older, your body changes, your metabolism slows down (yes, its totally a thing) and you hit a point where your overall health becomes a priority. From your skin to your eating habits and everything in between, these things take center stage and it’s a good thing! Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity.
Own who you are
During my process of self-growth, as there are many things that I strive to work on, there are still aspects of positive and quirky things that make me who I am. Learning to werk it with confidence and own who I am is definitely my biggest life lesson of all. Know your strengths, exploit them and don’t be shy or sorry for giving yourself a pat on the back for kickin’ ass!
Now that I’ve dumped all my thoughts on here, what do you think? Do you like these style of posts? Thanks for giving this one a read! Hoping to do more of this little spurr of the moment posts for you. Raw & Unedited (probably should though).